A Trip To Remember, February 2005

This trip was special. In February, Ann and everyone was very worried about me. I was weak. I was disinterested in things that I once liked.

Ann bought me an incredible John Lennon CD that featured his songs acoustically rather than with much of the background orchestrations that some had or with much of the loud electric work. I told her to take it back.

When I tell someone to return a gift that has something to do with music, that is a troubling symptom. Ann was still worried about me, because only three weeks earlier my doctor had said I had two weeks to two months to live.

One morning as I sat in my chair, Ann looked at me, and then she said something like this. "Let's you and I go somewhere--just up and take off without worrying about anything other than having fun. If we could do it, where would you want to go?"

"Disneyland! And let's take Kristin and Jack too." Kristin laughed out loud when she heard me name Disneyland as the place to visit. Later I found out that it shocked Ann too. She thought I might say Sun Valley or Park City or Salt Lake or Boise.

When we ran it by Dr. Mulvey, he laughed too for a moment, and then he looked at me for a moment without smiling for an instant. I think he thought I was kidding, because I loved telling him things that would make him laugh. "Why not," he said.

I had been watching Jack for a few weeks. It was important to me to have him with me. Each morning we followed the same ritual. We slept until well past ten or even eleven, and sometimes it was noon before we would get out of bed.

Sometimes I would wake with a start. I had the impression someone was watching me. It was Jack looking up close into my face and smiling. He could not talk a lot. Most communication was limited to words and phrases, but he let me know it was time for his breakfast.

I walked toward the kitchen, Jack in tow a step or two behind me. He would stand and watch me make him a three or four egg omelet with cheese and a slight sprinkle of dill. Jack ate every bit, and usually he would eat two or three sausage links too.

As soon as we finished breakfast, I would play "hartoons." This was the word Jack used during this time. He loved the Disney Channel, and I played it to get him excited about the trip. I played ride clips from their web site too.

Once we had definite plans to take our February trip, I would show Jack film clips of the rides at the park every day to get him excited. He remembered when we were there with Tommy and Lydia in May, and he was excited to go again.

Ann booked the trip quickly. I insisted on driving to Salt Lake City, where we stayed before leaving from the airport there. My arms shook slightly, because I was so weak, but I refused to say anything, because I thought Ann might not take us.

We left for the airport in an airport shuttle the next morning at 4:30 or 5:00 a.m. We had found a hotel that let us park our car there while we were gone.

Arriving there was like returning home after a long absence. It had seemed like a long time since Ann and I were there, at least two or three years, but I had had both Jack and Tommy there in late May. We stayed in the California, which recently opened and had very reasonable prices. It was an incredible time. This time we would stay at the Disneyland Hotel, the place where Ann and I stayed with Cles and Lydia when they were little. That was in 1981 before we had Kristin, and it was our very first trip to California as a family.

The first morning was fantastic. We boarded the monorail and were able to sit in the front car.

We went on Pirates repeatedly. Jack noticed the cats sitting with the pirate near the boats. Early each morning, well before dawn, I could hear him, "Meow, Meow." As soon as light peered through the sides of the curtains, Jack would coax to be dressed. He then would walk to his stroller and put on shoes, his or mine or grandma's. It really did not matter. He just wanted to do another day at the park, and he wanted to begin as soon as possible.

I placed a couple of video clips from that trip from pirates, even though it is dark. But the sounds are there still there, and both remind me of the fun we had.

Some traditions for Jack began on this trip, like knocking on the door of the small house near the Alice In Wonderland ride or going to the brunch at Goofy's Kitchen. On our last trip, going to Goofy's Kitchen is all that Jack wanted for his birthday. Having Tommy and Anna there was icing on the cake. But not having his mom there bothered him, and he kept saying that we would do that "next time."

The worst part of the trip is leaving, except when you can take a friend with you.