There is this book that Victor Frankl wrote to explain his survival after experiencing the horrors of a Nazi concentration camp. He describes watching strong men, whom he thought would outlive him easily, eventually weaken and fade into the "sweet by and by." His book eventually reveals his method of helping him survive--thinking about his wife when life was unbearable, when life was burdensome, when life was fragile. It doesn't mean that those who did not survive did not do the same thing. I know that seeing my sweetheart by my side every day helped me. Not many women are willing to listen to the sound of a machine in the night the size of a small appliance pump chemo into a loved ones veins. And when the alarm signaled the end of the dose, she would get up in the middle of the night, disconnect the tubes and flush the lines with saline: lines connected to a main artery in my neck.Memories of that are still unpleasant for me. They are dark. They are painful. They are impossible to survive without loved ones.
My three kids were there too at different times, but they were all there when I needed them, and I could depend on them. Not everyone has something like that, and not everyone survives dark times. It is not the only explanation for my still being able to enjoy their company, but it is one I will always be grateful for.
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